thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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