...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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