No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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