I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
