I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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