It's Friday. Sex?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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