i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
