Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
