so explain again why im purple
no
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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