used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
