tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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