what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
