I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
