I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
