My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
