First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
