I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I woke up under a house in Key West
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
