can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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