it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
