I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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