My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
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