just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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