Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize