you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
