Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
