guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
