I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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