I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
