he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Boobs speak an international language.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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