my shit smells like andre
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
