ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
