I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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