I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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