Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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