Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize