So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
