Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
