um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
