Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
wanna go halves on a baby?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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