the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize