yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
