Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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