Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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