When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize