It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
