Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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