Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize