how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
