I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
MIDGETS
????
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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