This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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