This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
