Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize