Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
