I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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