I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
