Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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