you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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