i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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