I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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