I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
