I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
