God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
