My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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