there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
