By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
