It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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