This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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