You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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