OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
