At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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